Leadville Trail 100 run pre-race

I've been wavering this entire week as to whether or not i should start the run tomorrow.  I continue to bounce from one emotion to the next:  fear, concern, insecurity, complacence, self pity, loneliness

My body is tired, my mind is worn down.  i've got 1 small niggle hanging in there.  I have been asking myself the wrong questions all week, and my misdirection nearly got the better of me.  Late yesterday on one of Sirius and my walks things started to make more sense, the fog began to lift.  I opened my mind to accepting that i've had a really rough go on this course the last 2 years, and let it get the better of me.  

Over the course of the past several years, i've started many runs, some i've finished, some i came up short, but none of them weighed so heavily on my day to day life as i've allowed tomorrow's run.  I can't exactly pinpoint what i've been focusing on, or what i imagine in my mind to be the right outcome, I only know that i've lost the focus on the journey, and tied some inappropriate worth to the outcome.

This morning i woke up a bit lazy and groggy, laid around a bit, and enjoyed the sense of this weight being lifted, the fog seems to have dispersed.  I've had a lot of encouragement from good friends, some old and some new, each one of them helped me realize that it's all a journey, the only expectations placed on me are placed there by myself.

i've been in over my head many times before, sometimes i've managed to pull it off sometimes i've come up short, each time i've taken away important life lessons.  in the past i've always embraced the journey and accepted that i will be able to do as much as i can do on the day, and i will draw strength from those that believe in me.

tomorrow will be no different, though i struggle to let go of my fears, i will do my best to leave them at home as i head for the start line, and embrace whatever the day has to offer.  i will remember each of our interactions, and those traits each of you have which i so admire.  i will strive to learn from you and strengthen these traits in myself.

thank you all and may you enjoy the day, and know you have helped shape me into the person i am:

only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go

my progress throughout the day saturday (beginning 4am mountain time - 6am east coast and 3am west coast) and sunday can be tracked on raceresult.com.  I'm number 80: Liam Thier