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| velveteen rabbit |
"what is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, . . .
"Real isn't how you are made, " said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you." . . .
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit
"Sometimes"
Friday, August 16, 2013
Old friends reunited
those of you that have run with me in the past may recognize my old friend. The velveteen rabbit is back and I'm happy to have some companionship on my long adventures again:
Leadville Trail 100 run pre-race
I've been wavering this entire week as to whether
or not i should start the run tomorrow. I continue to bounce from one
emotion to the next: fear, concern, insecurity, complacence, self pity,
loneliness
My body is tired, my mind
is worn down. i've got 1 small niggle hanging in there. I have been
asking myself the wrong questions all week, and my misdirection nearly got the
better of me. Late yesterday on one of Sirius and my walks things started
to make more sense, the fog began to lift. I opened my mind to accepting
that i've had a really rough go on this course the last 2 years, and let it get
the better of me.
Over the course of the past several years, i've started many runs, some i've finished, some i came up short, but none of them weighed so heavily on my day to day life as i've allowed tomorrow's run. I can't exactly pinpoint what i've been focusing on, or what i imagine in my mind to be the right outcome, I only know that i've lost the focus on the journey, and tied some inappropriate worth to the outcome.
This morning i woke up a bit lazy and groggy, laid around a bit, and enjoyed
the sense of this weight being lifted, the fog seems to have dispersed.
I've had a lot of encouragement from good friends, some old and some new,
each one of them helped me realize that it's all a journey, the only expectations
placed on me are placed there by myself.
i've been in over my head many times before, sometimes i've managed to pull it off sometimes i've come up short, each time i've taken away important life lessons. in the past i've always embraced the journey and accepted that i will be able to do as much as i can do on the day, and i will draw strength from those that believe in me.
tomorrow will be no different, though i struggle to let go of my fears, i will do my best to leave them at home as i head for the start line, and embrace whatever the day has to offer. i will remember each of our interactions, and those traits each of you have which i so admire. i will strive to learn from you and strengthen these traits in myself.
thank you all and may you enjoy the day, and know you have helped shape me into the person i am:
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| only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go |
inspirational quotes
Tim Twietmeyer from Unbreakable
"Ask not for victory, ask for courage. For if you can endure, you bring honour to yourself. Even more, you have brought honour to us all."
a champion is someone who gets up when he can't
- Jack Dempsey
the purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things
- Rainer Maria Rilke
solo aquellos que se arriesgan a ir mas lejos descubrion hasta donde pueden llegar
(only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go)
- Cesar Chavez
the ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy
- Martin Luther King Jr.
my candle burns at both ends;
it will not last the night;
but ah, my foes, and oh my friends
It gives a lovely light!
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
To play it safe is not to play
- Robert Altman
never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Quotes from "Without Limits"
Citius. Altius. Fortius. It means Faster. Higher. Stronger. It's been the motto for the Olympics for the last 2500 years. But it doesn't mean faster, higher, and stronger than who you are competing against. Just Faster. Higher. Stronger
- Bill Bowerman
The real purpose of running isn't to win a race. It's to test the limits of the human heart.
- Bill Bowerman
"Ask not for victory, ask for courage. For if you can endure, you bring honour to yourself. Even more, you have brought honour to us all."
a champion is someone who gets up when he can't
- Jack Dempsey
the purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things
- Rainer Maria Rilke
solo aquellos que se arriesgan a ir mas lejos descubrion hasta donde pueden llegar
(only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go)
- Cesar Chavez
the ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy
- Martin Luther King Jr.
my candle burns at both ends;
it will not last the night;
but ah, my foes, and oh my friends
It gives a lovely light!
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
To play it safe is not to play
- Robert Altman
never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Quotes from "Without Limits"
Citius. Altius. Fortius. It means Faster. Higher. Stronger. It's been the motto for the Olympics for the last 2500 years. But it doesn't mean faster, higher, and stronger than who you are competing against. Just Faster. Higher. Stronger
- Bill Bowerman
The real purpose of running isn't to win a race. It's to test the limits of the human heart.
- Bill Bowerman
Monday, August 12, 2013
Leadville 10k - 4 of 5
after a long morning at the awards ceremony and some pretty touching stories, it was time to get out and run the leadville 10k, event 4 of 5 in the leadman series.
i wasn't expecting too much on this run, the plan was to run comfortably and see how my legs felt, and try to keep running the uphill return portion.
I started out a bit lethargic and conservative, after about 1 mile, things were loosening up and i went with it, trying to be conscious of the additional effort required for return trip and save a little for it.
at mile 2.5, i saw the lead runners coming back through, just over 19 minutes, and they were 3.5 miles in, charging up the climb back into town. i smiled and continued onward, enjoying the remaining 1/2 mile downhill, grabbed a cup of water at the turnaround, put my head down and kept churning my legs, slow and steady.
i've run up this section numerous times during the past couple of months of training, it's a slow grind for me, and it proved to be as much today, my legs were a bit heavy and reluctant to put forth anything more than just enough to keep jogging.
coming back into town i felt ok, and was able to muster a slightly faster pace for a decent finish, right around 54 minutes, right around an 8:40 / mile, far from stellar, but on a day where i was just hoping to do finish with 9:00 / mile, i'll take it.
now the fun begins, doing virtually nothing, perhaps a couple short easy runs maybe a bike ride just some easy activities to keep everything moving and then the big dance.
i've got a lot of questions bouncing around in my head about it, but am doing what i can to let them bounce out of my head. there are lingering doubts, which i'll have to confront and see if i have the answers this go round, but that will all be sorted out on saturday, there is no need to devote any effort or energy to stringing together what could be and maybes.
if if's and buts where candy and nuts, i'd be putting on some serious weight this week
current leadman standings are listed here, including times for each event.
another coffee mug to add to my collection:
i wasn't expecting too much on this run, the plan was to run comfortably and see how my legs felt, and try to keep running the uphill return portion.
I started out a bit lethargic and conservative, after about 1 mile, things were loosening up and i went with it, trying to be conscious of the additional effort required for return trip and save a little for it.
at mile 2.5, i saw the lead runners coming back through, just over 19 minutes, and they were 3.5 miles in, charging up the climb back into town. i smiled and continued onward, enjoying the remaining 1/2 mile downhill, grabbed a cup of water at the turnaround, put my head down and kept churning my legs, slow and steady.
i've run up this section numerous times during the past couple of months of training, it's a slow grind for me, and it proved to be as much today, my legs were a bit heavy and reluctant to put forth anything more than just enough to keep jogging.
coming back into town i felt ok, and was able to muster a slightly faster pace for a decent finish, right around 54 minutes, right around an 8:40 / mile, far from stellar, but on a day where i was just hoping to do finish with 9:00 / mile, i'll take it.
now the fun begins, doing virtually nothing, perhaps a couple short easy runs maybe a bike ride just some easy activities to keep everything moving and then the big dance.
i've got a lot of questions bouncing around in my head about it, but am doing what i can to let them bounce out of my head. there are lingering doubts, which i'll have to confront and see if i have the answers this go round, but that will all be sorted out on saturday, there is no need to devote any effort or energy to stringing together what could be and maybes.
if if's and buts where candy and nuts, i'd be putting on some serious weight this week
current leadman standings are listed here, including times for each event.
another coffee mug to add to my collection:
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Leadville MTB 100 trail ride - 3 of 5
1 week of rest later, and my body still feels pretty run down and tired, but i'm ready or at least willing to get started on this ride and see where things fall out. My strategy is pretty simple go nice and easy on the way out so i can try to come back a little faster.
as usual, the early miles feel very comfortable and easy, the temperatures are in the upper 30's, and the first 4 miles are downhill. i'm pretty happy because i think i planned for this, a couple layers and a jacket, i'm pretty comfortable, at least for about 1 mile, then i realize who forgets to wear gloves when it's below 40 and you are going to be riding downhill: i do. and i suffered for poor planning for the first 45 minutes or so. at which point the course turned up slightly and my hands eventually warmed up.
the ride out to twin lakes went pretty well, some not too technical downhills which i should be riding much faster, but am still very cautious about descending, especially considering my poor bike handling skills. perhaps with time, i'll get more comfortable and be a better rider, until then, i'm content riding the brakes the whole way down:)
there were some really fun sections of single track, but for the most part, the course is paved and dirt roads, probably one of the saving graces that allowed me to finish within the 12 hour cutoff.
about 2 miles outside the twin lakes aid station, the lead pack of 4 - 5 riders passed me, it was about 3:40 into the ride, and they were through 60 miles, very impressive. even more impressive once i finished the 7 mile climb up to columbine, that took the better part of 2 hours, entirely uphill. the worst part, is i'm such a poor descender that i wasn't really able to enjoy the descent, much of which i spend white knuckled on the brakes trying to avoid crashing.
i definitely had trouble getting enough calories on the climb out to columbine, and took a little extra time at the turnaround to catch up. a couple drinks, 1/2 a pb&j sandwich and a couple gels before i crammed several more gels into my pack and headed back for twin lakes.
i had a couple really good stretches from twin lakes back through powerlines, hiked up much of the powerline portion of the climb and road a suprising amount of the remaining ascent. kudos to my new bike: orbea occam 29er, which made the climbing go much more smoothly, and is far more capable on the descents than i'm currently able to leverage.
after topping out at sugarloaf i ran out of water, and neglected to stop at the transition to pavement to top off my pack. this would cost me a bit on the climb up to the final aid station. my stomach was already starting to protest the gels, and without water to help choke them down, it was unpleasant, so i slowly made my way up the 2.5 - 3 miles until the final aid station, and drank 2 - 3 cups of water, and had them refill my pack.
then i was on my way again, feeling a little better, but still ready to be done with this riding bit. i'm definitely not used to sitting on a seat for such a long time, and my feet aren't quite used to being on a set of pedals for that amount of time either.
after a brief set of climbs the final descent is upon us. i feel my confidence growing on the descents and start to let things roll a bit more, feeling more confident in my ability to judge the obstacles, and the bikes ability to stop quickly, before long, we are back on pavement, and rolling back into familiar territory.
i settle in and enjoy the fact that all this will soon be a memory and my legs will be able to rest for another week (almost, except that little recovery 10k sunday morning).
i walk a bit of the final climb up on the rockier sections before climbing back on the bike and fishing up the final 3 miles into town.
that's 3 of 5 down, 2 more to go, and my brain is really having trouble wrapping itself around running this distance over slightly different terrain.
for now, i'm going to focus on the fact that i can recover and not worry about the running part until later in the week.
finishers jacket, which is quite warm and comfortable
They even saw fit to commemorate my accomplishment:)
My bike, which i'll be ok not riding for a bit:)
finishers medal, and a belt buckle. If that's not enough hardware for you, women also get a pendant.
as usual, the early miles feel very comfortable and easy, the temperatures are in the upper 30's, and the first 4 miles are downhill. i'm pretty happy because i think i planned for this, a couple layers and a jacket, i'm pretty comfortable, at least for about 1 mile, then i realize who forgets to wear gloves when it's below 40 and you are going to be riding downhill: i do. and i suffered for poor planning for the first 45 minutes or so. at which point the course turned up slightly and my hands eventually warmed up.
the ride out to twin lakes went pretty well, some not too technical downhills which i should be riding much faster, but am still very cautious about descending, especially considering my poor bike handling skills. perhaps with time, i'll get more comfortable and be a better rider, until then, i'm content riding the brakes the whole way down:)
there were some really fun sections of single track, but for the most part, the course is paved and dirt roads, probably one of the saving graces that allowed me to finish within the 12 hour cutoff.
about 2 miles outside the twin lakes aid station, the lead pack of 4 - 5 riders passed me, it was about 3:40 into the ride, and they were through 60 miles, very impressive. even more impressive once i finished the 7 mile climb up to columbine, that took the better part of 2 hours, entirely uphill. the worst part, is i'm such a poor descender that i wasn't really able to enjoy the descent, much of which i spend white knuckled on the brakes trying to avoid crashing.
i definitely had trouble getting enough calories on the climb out to columbine, and took a little extra time at the turnaround to catch up. a couple drinks, 1/2 a pb&j sandwich and a couple gels before i crammed several more gels into my pack and headed back for twin lakes.
i had a couple really good stretches from twin lakes back through powerlines, hiked up much of the powerline portion of the climb and road a suprising amount of the remaining ascent. kudos to my new bike: orbea occam 29er, which made the climbing go much more smoothly, and is far more capable on the descents than i'm currently able to leverage.
after topping out at sugarloaf i ran out of water, and neglected to stop at the transition to pavement to top off my pack. this would cost me a bit on the climb up to the final aid station. my stomach was already starting to protest the gels, and without water to help choke them down, it was unpleasant, so i slowly made my way up the 2.5 - 3 miles until the final aid station, and drank 2 - 3 cups of water, and had them refill my pack.
then i was on my way again, feeling a little better, but still ready to be done with this riding bit. i'm definitely not used to sitting on a seat for such a long time, and my feet aren't quite used to being on a set of pedals for that amount of time either.
after a brief set of climbs the final descent is upon us. i feel my confidence growing on the descents and start to let things roll a bit more, feeling more confident in my ability to judge the obstacles, and the bikes ability to stop quickly, before long, we are back on pavement, and rolling back into familiar territory.
i settle in and enjoy the fact that all this will soon be a memory and my legs will be able to rest for another week (almost, except that little recovery 10k sunday morning).
i walk a bit of the final climb up on the rockier sections before climbing back on the bike and fishing up the final 3 miles into town.
that's 3 of 5 down, 2 more to go, and my brain is really having trouble wrapping itself around running this distance over slightly different terrain.
for now, i'm going to focus on the fact that i can recover and not worry about the running part until later in the week.
 |
| commemorative, it even includes my time |
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| finishers medal and buckle |
AC100 - a failed experiment
First, a big thanks to Mike, Kariem, and Victoria for coming out and helping through the days efforts.
I honestly don't remember to much about the day, except i was tired, the distance between aid stations was long on some sections, and it seems like a logistical nightmare for crew.
things started off at 5, still dark and cool, a good way to start, with a long slow grind for the first 2.5 - 3 miles up up and up. a good adjustment period. none of the climbs were too steep, they were definitely long, the kind you just need to find your gear and keep grinding away at.
I could have used more food through the first 30 miles, mostly poor planning and eating habits on my part, despite mike's best efforts, i wasn't really interested in eating, nothing really sounded good, and my plan to grab gels at the aid stations failed.
The lowest point for me came between miles 30 and 37 (coming from eagles roost to cloudburst), i ran out of water, and nutrition and crashed pretty hard on the long slow climb up to the road. to my surprise, i was greeted by Mike and Kariem at the top with a myriad of shoes to choose from, and socks too. i was pretty tattered when i got to the aid station, and was quite happy to just lay down and relax, trying to get some gels down and water.
i swapped out my asics for a pair of very cushy and quite pleasant salomon's from kariem's collection. i was eating a bit and drinking when i heard 20 minutes until the cutoff, if you want to keep going, you need to be out of here in 20 minutes.
with a little help from kariem and mike, i was on my way again. I made a conscious effort to eat and drink more and as a result was able to move steadily for the next 15 miles into Chilao, coming in a little after 8pm and feeling good. It was at this time that i found out Victoria's runner was out of the race allowing Victoria to pace me from 60 - 75 (hopefully).
i sat down, got some food grabbed my lights and relaxed for a bit. After a little bit, Mike and i were off, he was a little ambitious to start. after a little discussion, we settled into a comfortable pace and were plugging away. walking up the climbs and enjoying the flats. after 4 - 5 miles, we hit a fun little descent, and i couldn't help but let things go a bit, we were going down some pretty fun switchbacks at night and i was loving it. this ended too quickly, and transitioned to the climb up to shortcut saddle, which we were quite content to hike up.
once we got up there, kariem and victoria were quick to get me food a blanket a chair and try to bolster my spirits. just as quickly as the good stretch had appeared (a nice 23 mile stretch of moving well), it was beginning to fade. the chair was feeling really comfortable. then i started to get cold, really cold.
soon victoria and i were off on what promised to be another good section, some 6 - 7 miles of descent and a 2 - 3 mile climb up. after walking for a little, i attempted to run, i managed to shuffle for 3 steps, downhill, and it became horribly clear this section may take a little longer then i'd hoped. we continued trudging down the road. i'd occasionally try to must a jog, and abandon the effort within 3 - 4 steps. my stomach started rejecting all food and my mind began giving up.
victoria kept encouraging me to eat and tried forcing food on me several times, but i'm pretty stubborn once i make up my mind, and i was about done with this nonsense. the week had taken it's toll on me, i was ready to be done and start preparing for the leadville 100 mtb ride in 6 days. by preparing, i mean eating a lot and doing pretty much nothing physical. giving my body time to mend after the past 8 days of increased efforts.
we finally made it to newcomb's saddle, at 3:02 am (the cutoff was 3:00am), honestly i'm fine with this, i was ready to be done with the journey a couple hours ago, my feet hurt, my legs were tired, and my stomach was not interested in food. more importantly my brain had moved on from completing this endeavor to resting for the next go.
the best part of being pulled from the run for failing to meet the cutoff was when the volunteer looked at me and told me i had missed the cutoff, i was content, and would happily wait for mike and kariem to come drag my tired body home. and then the insult to the system: "you need to walk out to chantry flats". walk out? isn't there a fire road or something? apparently there isn't a fire road (at least not one that makes the trip any shorter). my choices: walk the 6ish miles out, or wait until noon with no place to sleep.
the good news for victoria (sort of), is she would get to drag me through almost all of her promised 15 miles, the bad news, is it was closer to a death march then a jog. about the time the sun was coming up, we emerged from the trail and saw mike sitting there in his truck awaiting our arrival.
all in all it was a great adventure, and a huge training week: i almost tripled my biggest weekly mileage since august of 2012, in time, distance and elevation gain. maybe if i paid attention to the rules of 10 i would be a better runner right now, and maybe i wouldn't.
i have 2 big take aways from the weekend:
I honestly don't remember to much about the day, except i was tired, the distance between aid stations was long on some sections, and it seems like a logistical nightmare for crew.
things started off at 5, still dark and cool, a good way to start, with a long slow grind for the first 2.5 - 3 miles up up and up. a good adjustment period. none of the climbs were too steep, they were definitely long, the kind you just need to find your gear and keep grinding away at.
I could have used more food through the first 30 miles, mostly poor planning and eating habits on my part, despite mike's best efforts, i wasn't really interested in eating, nothing really sounded good, and my plan to grab gels at the aid stations failed.
The lowest point for me came between miles 30 and 37 (coming from eagles roost to cloudburst), i ran out of water, and nutrition and crashed pretty hard on the long slow climb up to the road. to my surprise, i was greeted by Mike and Kariem at the top with a myriad of shoes to choose from, and socks too. i was pretty tattered when i got to the aid station, and was quite happy to just lay down and relax, trying to get some gels down and water.
i swapped out my asics for a pair of very cushy and quite pleasant salomon's from kariem's collection. i was eating a bit and drinking when i heard 20 minutes until the cutoff, if you want to keep going, you need to be out of here in 20 minutes.
with a little help from kariem and mike, i was on my way again. I made a conscious effort to eat and drink more and as a result was able to move steadily for the next 15 miles into Chilao, coming in a little after 8pm and feeling good. It was at this time that i found out Victoria's runner was out of the race allowing Victoria to pace me from 60 - 75 (hopefully).
i sat down, got some food grabbed my lights and relaxed for a bit. After a little bit, Mike and i were off, he was a little ambitious to start. after a little discussion, we settled into a comfortable pace and were plugging away. walking up the climbs and enjoying the flats. after 4 - 5 miles, we hit a fun little descent, and i couldn't help but let things go a bit, we were going down some pretty fun switchbacks at night and i was loving it. this ended too quickly, and transitioned to the climb up to shortcut saddle, which we were quite content to hike up.
once we got up there, kariem and victoria were quick to get me food a blanket a chair and try to bolster my spirits. just as quickly as the good stretch had appeared (a nice 23 mile stretch of moving well), it was beginning to fade. the chair was feeling really comfortable. then i started to get cold, really cold.
soon victoria and i were off on what promised to be another good section, some 6 - 7 miles of descent and a 2 - 3 mile climb up. after walking for a little, i attempted to run, i managed to shuffle for 3 steps, downhill, and it became horribly clear this section may take a little longer then i'd hoped. we continued trudging down the road. i'd occasionally try to must a jog, and abandon the effort within 3 - 4 steps. my stomach started rejecting all food and my mind began giving up.
victoria kept encouraging me to eat and tried forcing food on me several times, but i'm pretty stubborn once i make up my mind, and i was about done with this nonsense. the week had taken it's toll on me, i was ready to be done and start preparing for the leadville 100 mtb ride in 6 days. by preparing, i mean eating a lot and doing pretty much nothing physical. giving my body time to mend after the past 8 days of increased efforts.
we finally made it to newcomb's saddle, at 3:02 am (the cutoff was 3:00am), honestly i'm fine with this, i was ready to be done with the journey a couple hours ago, my feet hurt, my legs were tired, and my stomach was not interested in food. more importantly my brain had moved on from completing this endeavor to resting for the next go.
the best part of being pulled from the run for failing to meet the cutoff was when the volunteer looked at me and told me i had missed the cutoff, i was content, and would happily wait for mike and kariem to come drag my tired body home. and then the insult to the system: "you need to walk out to chantry flats". walk out? isn't there a fire road or something? apparently there isn't a fire road (at least not one that makes the trip any shorter). my choices: walk the 6ish miles out, or wait until noon with no place to sleep.
the good news for victoria (sort of), is she would get to drag me through almost all of her promised 15 miles, the bad news, is it was closer to a death march then a jog. about the time the sun was coming up, we emerged from the trail and saw mike sitting there in his truck awaiting our arrival.
all in all it was a great adventure, and a huge training week: i almost tripled my biggest weekly mileage since august of 2012, in time, distance and elevation gain. maybe if i paid attention to the rules of 10 i would be a better runner right now, and maybe i wouldn't.
i have 2 big take aways from the weekend:
- i have an incredible group of friends
- i need to make better use of my time in aid stations, i seem to waste a lot of time and accomplish very little. i need to focus more on getting gels for the next section, getting some calories in the form of solid food and drinking.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Upheaval
It's been some time since i've posted, mainly due to laziness, and partially due to the fact that i' haven't been doing too much since october.
I had a good bought of fatigue and general lethargy which forced me to re-evaluate a lot of my ambitions over the past 8 months. I did one final long run in october: a group of good friends and i enjoyed a rim to rim to rim crossing of the grand canyon.
After finishing that I put all physical activity on hold from december through mid march. Around which time i decided to ease back into things. I adopted the playground approach, which is exactly what it sounds like, i've reverted to my playground days, focusing on enjoying the process instead of focusing on goals. If it sounds like fun and offers potential to put a smile on my face, i'm in, if it's something i start begrudgingly, I'll pass.
During february i was still feeling like i needed to accomplish something. I signed up for a very ambitious summer:
Sometime around march i was able to let go of this need to accomplish anything this year, except enjoy it. I've thrown out all goals and ambitions for this year, reduced my physical possessions to a much more manageable collection:
I got a great wake up call this past week. Had an incredible time at Geoff Roes' camp, took a ridiculous number of photos and met some great people that helped me further put things into perspective. I felt better during every one of the camp runs than i have in the past year, and i am pretty sure i had a smile on the entire time.
It was tough to leave the camp especially knowing i was going to try and run ac100 the next morning. I'll do a more in depth right up of both the camp and ac100 in the coming weeks, for now, just realize it was a humbling experience, and really helped me appreciate the group of friends i have. I had some really good stretches and had to dig out of some really tough places, which would not have happened without my friends there to support me.
I am now enjoying an easy week during which i'll spend some more time enjoying nature and not worrying about training, but focusing on recovering and getting in the right mental state to fully enjoy the next 2 weekends.
I had a good bought of fatigue and general lethargy which forced me to re-evaluate a lot of my ambitions over the past 8 months. I did one final long run in october: a group of good friends and i enjoyed a rim to rim to rim crossing of the grand canyon.
After finishing that I put all physical activity on hold from december through mid march. Around which time i decided to ease back into things. I adopted the playground approach, which is exactly what it sounds like, i've reverted to my playground days, focusing on enjoying the process instead of focusing on goals. If it sounds like fun and offers potential to put a smile on my face, i'm in, if it's something i start begrudgingly, I'll pass.
During february i was still feeling like i needed to accomplish something. I signed up for a very ambitious summer:
- the leadman series out in leadville consisting of:
- leadville trail marathon June 29th
- Silver King (a 50 mile mountian bike ride on saturday 7/12 and then run the same course on sunday 7/13)
- Leadville Trail 100 mtb August 10th
- Leadville 10k Run August 11th
- Leadville Trail 100 run August 17th
- Alaska Mountain Ultrarunning Camp July 27 - Aug 2nd
- Angeles Crest 100 Mile Endurance Run August 3rd
One of the problems I have is poor planning, another problem i've been facing is i just didn't know what i needed to accomplish. This makes it incredibly difficult to pursue, kind of like running around in the dark looking for and undefined something. even you find it, how do you know you've found it since you don't konw what it is.
Sometime around march i was able to let go of this need to accomplish anything this year, except enjoy it. I've thrown out all goals and ambitions for this year, reduced my physical possessions to a much more manageable collection:
- clothes
- 3 bikes (of course i need 3 bikes:) - cross bike, track bike, mountain bike
- some camping/hiking gear
- books
- eating and cookware
- my truck
I got a great wake up call this past week. Had an incredible time at Geoff Roes' camp, took a ridiculous number of photos and met some great people that helped me further put things into perspective. I felt better during every one of the camp runs than i have in the past year, and i am pretty sure i had a smile on the entire time.
It was tough to leave the camp especially knowing i was going to try and run ac100 the next morning. I'll do a more in depth right up of both the camp and ac100 in the coming weeks, for now, just realize it was a humbling experience, and really helped me appreciate the group of friends i have. I had some really good stretches and had to dig out of some really tough places, which would not have happened without my friends there to support me.
I am now enjoying an easy week during which i'll spend some more time enjoying nature and not worrying about training, but focusing on recovering and getting in the right mental state to fully enjoy the next 2 weekends.
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