This year proved to be a bit of a challenge. As usual, I didn’t sleep very well the night before the race, I was up late organizing my race gear and then up early driving to oceanside. I got there, found my place in transition, it was very empty, lots of room to set up, but this would soon change as the hordes of participants showed up.
I made my way into the lineup to funnel down to the swim start, and waited to enter the harbor. 3 minutes before the wave start, we were allowed into the water for warmup and whatever else needing doing. I got in, a bit chilly, allowed me to find new tears in my wetsuit. guess it’s about time to retire it. the horn sounded and we were off, I started out a bit wide and near the front, quickly settled into a pretty comfortable pace, and worked my way into the center by the buoys. I’ve given up on predicting my swim pace, and have accepted I am a poor judge at best of swim performance. the entire swim felt good, I was sure I was holding a pretty good pace, and moving along. my effort felt pretty good, not overly hard, and not too relaxed. before long I was at the turnaround, and on my way back in. I was back by the start line seemingly sooner than anticipated, maybe I will actually string together a solid performance today. out of the water, through transition, back to my rack to pick up my bike and get down to business. swim time: 35:09, about 5 minutes slower than my usual time.
when I got back to the racks, they were very empty. hmmm, maybe that swim wasn’t as fast as I thought it was. granted I didn’t expect a blazing swim time, but figured there would be more bikes around when I got back.
I had some trouble getting my wetsuit off, so sat down for the struggle. One of the volunteers offered to help me peel it off, I accepted, and as she bent over to help out she hit my bike, knocking it off the rack and to the ground, my water bottle, full of my nutrition, skated across the transition area. “I’m sorry”, as she chased after it. and I’m still struggling to get my wet suit off. what the?? guess I need to actually swim and practice taking the wetsuit off. phew, finally got it off, the volunteer had recovered my nutrition, put it back in the water bottle cage, and set my bike upright. ok, the fun part. T1 time: 3:28, by no means blazing fast, but not too far from what I would have expected had things gone well.
now the bike, from here on out it’s good, nothing but chasing people down. out of t1, time to mount, I couldn’t get on the bike. guess I need to practice that one as well. it took me 3 or 4 tries to find the pedals and actually get moving. ok, it’s a bit chilly, there are lots of people out ahead of me on the bike, and I’m struggling with silly things which I usually do well. good thing I’m having fun out here, or this could be a bad day. immediately I start working my way through the field (not hard to do when you start out so poorlyJ ) and settling into a comfortably fast rhythm on the bike. drink some water, take in some nutrition. that’s the stuff. it’s pretty cold for the first 10 – 15 miles, but my legs are feeling pretty good, I seem to be making good time.
I pick up some water and refill my supplies at the first aid station, then settle in, the first 22 – 25 miles are pretty flat, and a good opportunity to make up some good speed before the climbing starts. around mile 22, the head wind starts. that’s a lot earlier, and a lot heavier than usual. through the first set of rollers I notice a peculiar noise when I put any real power through the pedals for climbing. I look back, and am pretty sure the rear wheel is deflecting and rubbing on the frame under heavy load. at least there are lots of hills to verify this hypothesis.
generally I’ll wind up going back and forth with a couple people on the bike, but not today, today was going to be a solo effort for whatever reason. despite the setbacks so far, things seem to be going well, I feel like I’m holding a good pace on the bike, and should be close to where I want to be come time to run. that’s where I’ll make up the bulk of my time. over the climbs, and through the descents, I’m smiling inside, and laughing to myself, this feels good, I’m having fun out here. the climbs aren’t passing as easily as I’ve become accustomed to, I chalk it up to the extra noises I’ve got coming from my rear wheel and bottom bracket, and laugh. so much neglect going into the race, and now it’s paying me back. but the downhills and flats feel very strong. I take a couple thermolytes as proactive cramp prevention.
onto the backside which is deceptive, though it’s pretty flat, there is a lot of wind, particularly today, so I tuck into a nice comfortable aero position, and click off the miles, mile 45, 11 miles left, no worries, it’s almost time to test out my new running skills. the remainder of the bike is uneventful, and seems to go by quickly. coming down into t2, I hear mike “go liam”, and am feeling good, my legs are still fresh and ready for the next hour and a half. a smooth t2, and onto the run. on top of that I don’t have to worry about any weird noises coming from my bike. bike time: 2:41:11
T2 is much smoother and faster than t1, that’s what I’m used to. I’ve gone through all 1200 calories on the bike, and am feeling good, I rack my bike, sit down, pull my shoes on, look right at my nutrition and electrolytes I’ve allocated for the run, and decide, I don’t need those, I’ll be back in less than 1:30:00. this would prove to be a giant blunder. t2 time: 0:1:33
shoes on, ready to go, I come blazing out of t2, this feels like it might be a little fast, but lets see where it takes us. though it seems like I might be coming out a bit quick, I feel very comfortable. after ½ mile, the story of the run starts to unfold. twinges start shooting through my quadriceps. mmm, guess I should have had more thermolytes on the bike, and grabbed my bag of run goodies in t2. it’s only 13 miles, let’s see how things unfold. 2 cups of gatorade at the first aid station, 2 sponges. still running, either my legs will cramp, or they won’t. my pace is still solid, and I feel comfortable other than the twinges.
mile 2, 2 more gatorades, I should get something with salt, maybe pretzels, or power gel. I definitely should do a gel before too long. but I’m still feeling good except the twinges. mile 3, my feet fall asleep, I’m still taking 1 or 2 gatorades every mile to fight off the cramps. but have yet to get any real calories. I’m running a solid pace, nobody is catching me, at the turnarounds, people are falling further behind, I just keep running people down. things are good.
mile 4, mile 5, mile 6, almost to the 2nd turnaround. I’m starting to feel things a bit. mike and my dad are there, mike feeds me my split: “you’re on pace for 1:28:00”. now I’m thinking I have to make up 3 minutes. time to start picking things up see what’s in the cards. how deep can I dig?
on the way out for lap 2, I pick up the pace slightly, more gatorade, more water. I need a gel, it’s stupid to pass them up. but I keep passing them up. mile 9, almost time for the last turn around. mile 10, need a gel, legs are cramping more, but anybody can fake a 5k. and it’s mainly downhill to flat from here. hey wait, is that my feet I can feel now. nice, at least they aren’t numb anymore.
mile 11. game over. that gel would have been real nice had I eaten it 3 – 5 miles ago. I’m still running, but more of a 9 min/mile pace instead of the 6:45 min/mile or so I was holding up to that point. time for damage control, I grab some oranges and start chewing on them, walk the aid station to get some gatorade and water in me. put my head down, and back to running. still painfully slow.
as hard as I try, there just isn’t anything in there. I keep reasoning, it’s 2 miles, 14 minutes, that’s easy you do it all the time. then my left hamstring starts to twinge. added to the collection of both quads threatening to cramp, and I have no energy. aaah yes, I miscalculated by 15 minutes. so close. only 2 miles. start digging, gotta hold off some people. in the last 2 miles, I dropped roughly 6 spots in my division, and probably dozens overall, but it’s not about that right now, it’s about running, as bad as I want to stop, I keep telling myself run faster, it will be over sooner, as hard as I try, my legs refuse to turn over faster, I watch a dozen or so people pull away, and have nothing to answer with. 1 mile left, ¾ of a mile, and I’m through the last aid station. nothing here will help now, just keep moving on. ¼ mile left, it’s now that I find out how much my body lied, or how much truth there was. I let it all out, digging in for a solid run down the finishing chute. 2 people ahead of me, 200meters to catch them, I can do this, I always have something left for a strong finish. here I go, my sprint. but I’m unable to go any faster than I’ve been going for the last 200 meters. what the? 2 people. and I manage to pull up even, but don’t have it to get ahead. the finish. run time: 1:34:27
my hamstring is cramped, my quads are cramped, I’m tired, I’m thirsty my legs are going to explode. but there is a smile deep down inside, I blew up 2 miles early, but in doing so, I learned a huge lesson. I laid it all out there, I wasn’t afraid of falling short, there were no questions, no doubts, just the here and now, each step on that run was done in the here and now. never holding back and wondering if I could keep that pace the whole way, just going with what felt right. not thinking about the possibility of coming up short, because there was no way that could happen (except perhaps if I didn’t eat anything for the entire run).
each race over the past year has brought me a new understading of what it means to lay it all out there, and to hurt like I’ve never hurt before. after lake placid I hurt more than I’d ever hurt before, after silverman, I raised the bar a bit more, after catalina, my legs were worse than I could imagine them feeling, and on saturday, I raised the bar a bit more. I’m starting to race closer and closer to my potential. with enough persistence, and attention to detail, it’s only a matter of time until everything falls into place, and I race the race that I know is in me. until them, I’m going to keep searching and reveling in my ability to push through the lies my body feeds me.
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