once i got to the top i forced an effort at a slow jog, and was able to do this for a bit, until the course turned even slightly upward, which would slow me to a walk. i bounced things about in my head for a while and decided it was time to start jogging, and pretty much do what i could to maintain that. about this time, my water bottle ran dry, lovely, at least there is some shade offered through this section into "uncle tom's cabin" - at least that's what i thought the aid station was called.
mmm, not sure how they pulled that off, i'll have to talk to Kariem about that and see what he thinks, he's got a good sense of humor and a thick skin, so it would make for a good conversation. i moved over to the side to allow several runners come by, this was getting to be a regular occurrence, the entire time i'm running through my options, when i get to the aid station i need to get ice water in my bottle, 3 gels of the mild flavor, none of that green apple stuff, it's too sweet, keep moving forward, jog when i can, walk when i need to, enjoy the shade and the views.
i'm not very good at enjoying much during these runs, more of a once it starts, why am i not done yet, i have how far to go? perhaps it's time to start enjoying the views or something about this excursion, especially if it is going to be dragging out.
and then there it was, a sign for uncle Tom's cabin, except it was actually uncle Todd's cabin, i guess my mind is a bit off. ok, into aid station, i'm going to lay down put my legs up and let things come around. a plan is just a list of things that don't get done.
i did get water and a bunch of ice in my water bottle, a couple gels in the bottle, and a couple in my pockets, fruit, a COOKIE, and i sat down in a chair, things must be really bad. a towel dipped in cold water wrapped around my neck, time to get rid of some of this heat, just need to cool down and try to recharge.
the next section is roughly 5 miles and i believe mostly shaded, so i should be able to cover the ground in a little over an hour, then get to recharging again. again a couple people passed me, i had some tough sections, and managed to keep moving, repeating that dropping isn't an option, and about 1 mile before i got into the aid station i decided that the conversations where over, no more mention of dropping, i needed to put it completely out of my head, no more conversations about it, it doesn't exist.
at the 7th aid station i had my bottle filled with water and ice, 2 more gels in the water bottle, and stuffed my face with as much fruit as my stomach would handle. sat again in a chair, and chatted with Dean for a bit about what he's been up to. he quipped back that i need to get going and "catch mike" i slowly raised myself out of the chair and started on the way.
it was a slow progression and was about to get slower. i managed to jog along for 1 - 2 miles of the 7 to the next aid station, then things went really south. each step i took would send pain through all my joints from the hips down. did i mention it was hot? i proceeded to walk run as much as i could and would smile and wave at those that came up behind and passed me.
this continued through to the 8th and final aid station at which i had some chocolate milk, cola, fruit, crackers a couple gels and laid down for about 20 minutes. after which i drug myself up off the ground and proceeded on my way through the final leg.
i was ready to be done, and decided i was going to jog as much of it as i could bear, it would be worth finishing a little earlier and being done with this dreadful day. i continued through like this for much of the remaining 6 miles. with about 1 mile to go, i heard a familiar voice.
turns out Dave Tanner was out helping pace in John. with about 1 mile to go, we chatted for a bit, and john continued on his way. Dave opted to stick back and help drag me through into the finish line. this made that last bit that much more tolerable, thank you much Dave.
within about 1/2 mile of the finish, we caught up to Bethany, Timothy Ray's fiance. Tim did this race last year, it was the last race he would ever run, 2 days after finishing, he had a massive heart attack and died. This year's PCT 50 was in honor of him. Bethany and I had been going back and forth since mile 23. I asked if she would mind if i crossed the finish line with her, she agreed, so i did what i could to keep up with her the last bit, and we crossed together.
i could see and hear the emotion overwhelming her, she had come to experience what it was about ultra's that captured Tim's attention, during her journey, she learned a lot, not only about him and ultra's, but about herself. I wish her the best of everything.
three major things happened today:
- i persevered through much more adversity and many more reasons to drop then in most of the 10 previous DNFs i've accumlated
- i saw kariem graciously accept the fact that he was pulled from the course after missing a cut-off, the irony that kariem, whom, i found so much strength and motivation to continue through the day, and now he shows me how to graciously accept things, even if they don't line up with the plan
- i saw so much raw emotion in Bethany, untrained and injured continuing on through sheer will.
i still hear ken chlouber's words ringing in my ears: "you are stronger then you think you are. you can do more then you think you can". for the better part of a year this has been my question, i wake nights with this ringing in my ears. there is doubt, am i? i'll be back in august with a decisive answer.
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